Falling Behind? Or Just Getting Stronger?

There’s a quiet anxiety that sneaks in when we least expect it – a whisper that turns into a shout: “I’m falling behind.”

It starts small. When you scroll through social media and see someone’s highlight reel: their new job, their gorgeous kitchen remodel, their glowing skin and sculpted arms, their perfect vacation. You’re happy for them – mostly. But something inside you begins to ache. Not out of jealousy, but out of the sense that somehow you’re falling behind.

We’ve been sold a myth. A myth that there’s a perfect timeline we’re supposed to follow. That if we don’t hit certain milestones by a certain age, we’ve missed the boat. And when we don’t hit them? We quietly assume we’ve failed – or worse, that we’re falling behind while everyone else moves forward with ease.

But here’s the truth: there is no behind. There is only building.

Let me say this clearly – you are not falling behind. You are building something. And building is different.

Building is slower. It’s quieter. It doesn’t post well on Instagram. It often looks like sitting in uncertainty, experimenting with ideas, and working on something no one else knows about yet. It’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind when the outside world can’t see what you’re working toward.

When I was creating Up & Comer, barely anyone knew. My husband knew. My sister knew. But I kept it close. Not because I wasn’t proud of it, but because I was still in the early build – in that fragile, uncertain space where input from the wrong place could easily knock it off course.

It took me ten months to go from the spark of the idea to a live website with real product. Ten months where it would’ve been easy to look around and think I was falling behind because there wasn’t a visible result. But that silence? That slow stretch? It was all part of building.

And building isn’t linear. Some days you make giant strides. Other days, the win is just choosing not to give up.

So if you’re feeling like you’re falling behind, pause and ask yourself: Or am I just in a building season no one sees yet?

This year I turned 44. And while I’ve done some beautiful, messy, meaningful things in my life – I’ve also spent a lot of time wondering if I missed the mark. I used to look at other people’s timelines and ask, “When will it happen for me?” I assumed if it hadn’t happened by now, I was probably just falling behind.

But this birthday hit different.

Now I see how much strength lives in the slow seasons. How much wisdom can be built in the in-between. I’m not falling behind. I’m finally aligned. I’m making decisions that feel like mine. Not reactive. Not performative. Not for the feed. But real. Rooted. Intentional.

And if you’re in your 30s, 40s, 50s (or beyond) and still trying to build something that feels like you? You’re not late. You’re not falling behind. You’re right on time.

Some of the brands and businesses I admire most were started by people well past the age where society thinks dreams “should” begin. People with experience. With lived-in perspective. With the grit that comes from being underestimated – and still showing up.

So please: stop telling yourself you’re falling behind. You’re actually gaining depth.

Still not convinced? Here are a few signs that what feels like falling behind… might actually be building something better:

- You’re prioritizing purpose over performance
- You’re learning to trust your intuition instead of crowd noise
- You’re making choices that won’t impress strangers – but will serve your future self
- You’re becoming more honest about what you want
- You’re starting to care less about what others think and more about what feels aligned

If any of those resonate? You’re not falling behind. You’re building a foundation most people skip.

Okay, but what about the days where the doubt creeps in? When you feel like everyone else is moving and you’re standing still? Here's what helps:

1. Celebrate micro-wins.
You answered that email. You did the hard thing. You didn’t ghost your own dream. That’s progress.

2. Create simple rituals.
A playlist. A candle. A tee that reminds you what you’re working toward. Rituals make the invisible feel real.

3. Talk to someone who gets it.
Most people have felt like they were falling behind at some point. The strong ones admit it. The brave ones keep going.

4. Name your building season.
If you keep calling it “falling behind,” you’ll start believing it. Call it what it is: growth, rebuilding, comeback energy, personal alignment, a bold reset.

Here are a few products from Up & Comer that exist specifically to guide you through the murky middle – when you’re tempted to believe you’re falling behind, but you’re actually rising:

“You’re Not Stuck. You’re Just Paused” Tee
Sometimes a break is exactly what you need to move forward.

The Breakthrough Candle
For the moments when progress feels impossible – light this and remind yourself: roots grow before blooms.

The Fresh Start Candle
Whether it’s Monday or mid-meltdown, you can always reset.

These aren’t gimmicks. They’re tools. Wearable and burnable reminders that the real work often happens quietly, behind the scenes – and that doesn’t mean you’re falling behind.

Let’s redefine what “falling behind” even means.

If you’re doing what’s right for your nervous system, your soul, your relationships, your joy – how is that behind? If you’re healing, clarifying, reconnecting, or unlearning… what could be more ahead than that?

Maybe falling behind is what it feels like to stop chasing what was never yours. Maybe it’s not falling at all. Maybe it’s finally standing still long enough to see the truth.

You’re not behind. You’re building. And when the world makes you feel like you’re falling behind, come back to this truth:

✨ Growth doesn’t always look like motion.
✨ Progress doesn’t always post well.
✨ Purpose takes time.

You’re not falling behind.

You’re catching up to yourself.

And I believe in you.